


He ain't heavy, he's my brother

by scarletchidori



Series: My love will never die [4]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Season/Series 04, mentions of maze cutting lucifer wings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletchidori/pseuds/scarletchidori
Summary: The rare times they met after what happened, he had been amazed by the change in Lucifer, the amazement in Amenadiel’s eyes was gone in a moment, replaced by fake indifference, but he will never forget his brother’s dull gaze.
Relationships: Amenadiel & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Amenadiel/Linda Martin (Lucifer TV)
Series: My love will never die [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623259
Kudos: 62





	He ain't heavy, he's my brother

**Author's Note:**

> Another Lucifer one-shot. This time is Amanadiel's turn. I think that the next will be on Lucifer, I just think that focus on him could be a nice thing, but I'm not sure.
> 
> As always kudos are really appreciated, and if you want let me know what you think.

_ “But I’m strong _

_ Strong enough to carry him _

_ He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother _

_ So on we go _

_ His welfare is of my concern _

_ No burden is he to bear” _

_ (The Hollies - He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother) _

  
  


*

  
  


“You think he will be alright?”, Linda asks.   
  


“I don’t know,” Amenadiel says sincerely “He didn’t return because he wanted to- but after all he never wanted to live in Hell in the first place.”

“Then why?”

“For us,” he says looking at her “For all of us.”

“Really?”

“The demons took our son, they wanted to transform him into their new king,” Amenadiel whispers “Luci would never let that happen.”

“But he left Chloe too,” she says “Lucifer loves Chloe.”

“Yeah, he does love her,” he says “Returning to Hell means that he can control all the demons, he can protect everyone from there.”   
  


“I guess so,” Linda whispers caressing his cheek “But I don’t think he will be alright. His trauma has deep roots, the sense of abandonment, the suffering he had to endure… even if he returns…”

  
“I will take care of him,” Amenadiel replies gazing at her “You don’t have to worry, Linda.”

“But--”   
  


“You have already endured so much, not to mention when Charlie’s life was in danger” he says “I will take care of him if--”

“Don’t say ‘if’,” Linda begs.

Amenadiel nods with a sad smile. She’s right. Lucifer will come back to them.

“How was he… you know before?”, Linda asks.

“He was like an annoying little brother,” Amenadiel begins “He and Rae annoyed me for I don’t know how long with their little pranks.”

  
“Rae?”

“My sister,” he informs her “Her and Lucifer always teased me and I pretended to be mad at them…but I really miss those moments.”   
  


“They used to annoy you?”, she asks laughing.

“Yes, but they were really close,” he says with a small smile “It was nice to see him get along with at least one of his siblings.”

After Lucifer was cast down, Rae stopped seeing him. As an angel of death she was always busy, no time for herself and to rekindle the bond that she loved so much. Hell changed Lucifer a lot.

The rare times they met after what happened, he had been amazed by the change in Lucifer, the amazement in Amenadiel’s eyes was gone in a moment, replaced by fake indifference, but he will never forget his brother’s dull gaze. When he and Azrael played tricks on him, his brother’s gaze was lit by good humor, but he realized that Hell had taken something away from him. And Amenadiel fears that this time the change will be too radical. He fears that the light in Lucifer’s eyes, the one he has seen in him since he met Chloe, will disappear to never return.

“Amenadiel?”, Linda calls him “Are you okay?”

“Sure,” he nods with a forced smile “I’m just worried. You can go to sleep, if you want, I will join you soon.”

Linda nods, knowing that Amenadiel wants to be alone, and besides she’s exhausted. She gives him a kiss on the cheek whispering ‘goodnight’ before leaving him alone.

He should have told him, asked him for advice, instead of leaving them like that. Maze says Chloe tries to move on, but she also said that her suffering is obvious and that she tries to hide it for the sake of her daughter.

“You should have told me, Luci,” he whispers “Why didn’t you tell me your intentions? You don’t deserve this - you should be here with us, not there.”

He can’t even imagine his life there. A dark place full of pain, punishment and torture. Many humans are there, screaming and suffering, and Lucifer now can hear every single one of them. He wants to save him, but he knows that Luci would never allow him to do that. He wishes he could hug his brother and tell him that everything will be fine, but he’s aware that nothing will be fine. Even if Lucifer were to return, he would no longer be the same person as before. No matter how many times he manages to escape from Hell, there always will be something that will drive him back. Not out of will, but out of duty. Hell needs its king, and if the demons once tried to create a new king, through Charlie, he knows for sure that they would likely try that again.

“Isn’t that ironic?”, he whispers to himself “For years I have been trying to get you back to hell after you took that ‘vacation’, and now I would do anything to get you back here, where you belong.”

Lucifer’s self-sacrifice is what drives Amenadiel to find a solution, to find a way to get him back without leaving Hell without its king. He knows that it's madness, but he’s desperate enough to believe that is possible. Of course Chloe knows the truth, and Maze recently revealed that Trixie knows the truth too.

Amenadiel sits on the sofa, sighing sadly, who would have thought that life without Lucifer would have been like this. Ironically since he went away, the light in their lives seems to have dimmed. How can their father feel this punishment is right? Lucifer has spent most of his life in Hell, isn’t that enough? If his brother’s fate really is to live forever in that terrible place, then why did their father put Chloe in his path? To fall in love with her and then forcing him to abandon her? Perhaps Luci was right all along, and their father doesn’t care about them at all.

_ ** _

_ How much time did he spend here? One day, two days or one year? He doesn’t know, time loses its meaning when you live in a place like this. No sun or moon, no day or night, everything he can see is darkness and everything he can hear is pain. _

_ He closes his eyes, imagining being with the people he loves. Trixie hugging him with a smile, Chloe smiling at him and rolling her eyes every time he says something stupid.  _

_ He and Amenadiel had some hard times, but eventually they grew to understand each other and even care for one another. He remembers his brother's face when he saw his son, the complete and utter love was clear in his eyes, and when little Charlie was taken his fury was barely in check. He’s here for Charlie too. No one will ever touch that little kid, not while he’s alive. He prefers to be sentenced to stay here for eternity rather than to see Charlie suffer the same pain he had to endure. Little Charlie who is not yet aware of his true identity, Charlie who is unaware that his life could always be in danger. His friends will protect him on earth, and he will protect him from here, making sure that no demons dares to even touch him. _

_ He thinks about Maze too. Her being there for him like she always did. He will forever remember her face when he asked her to cut off his wings, even though she was still her past self, he could see that she was sorry for him. The second time he asked her to cut off his wings, she was crying freely and after his wings were just a faint memory, he hugged her close to his chest, telling her that everything was okay. And now he wishes that someone would do the same thing to him, but he’s alone. _

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying my best to not make mistakes (English is not my first language) but if you see some mistakes please let me know!


End file.
